Hovered over cradles
by Hiniminita
Summary: Dreams seem to be the center of your attention when you're little, dreams of what you want and desire. But you never dream of the faults, nor the pain that comes with it and the disappointment that is in the near future. Sasu/Hina


Chapter one- Stars

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, just using the characters.

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It burned.

And it felt good.

When you drank alcohol this burning feel would flow from your mouth, down your throat and straight into your stomach. It didn't always have the best flavor but the burning sensation she would feel was like heaven, warming her body and keeping her from feeling cold. But even though her whole body was starting to feel warm, she still was feeling…crappy.

Setting the now empty bottle on the table with a slam she glanced at the clock feeling slightly dizzy. It was late, very late. Yet she couldn't seem to fall into those nice dreamless slumbers that she oh so loved. And she's already had quit a lot to drink. Normally she'd be out by now.

'_Fuck it.'_ she thought a little annoyed. If she couldn't sleep she might as well stay up all night. She walked over to her drawer. It wasn't a far walk and she was grateful for that since she was so damn dizzy and kept stumbling over her own feet like a moron. Guess having a very, _very_ small apartment wasn't always bad.

She slipped on the switch to give herself some light to see and…nothing…

Shit, she forgot to pay her bills again.

'_Damnit I feel so stupid,"_ She thought bitterly.

Opening the drawer, she was looking for something that was going to be like her magical fun time. Smiling sadly to herself she pulled out a little baggy with white substances.

Truth is this Cocaine is in the most purest form that she has ever seen.

She'd had gotten it from this guy she knew. He said he'd get her some if she…well…got with him. She wouldn't admit it out loud, but she's always thought he was good looking. His name was Sasori, a very talented man who she had met at art school. Not a bad guy in her opinion. Plus he brought her pleasant memories from time to time…

She sat at the table, pulling her long waist length bluish-black hair into a ponytail. She carefully set the cocaine from the little baggy into a circle, and with her ID card she made a line for herself. She then bent her head down and sniffed up the cocaine quickly. Throwing her head back at the sudden rush she was feeling.

She looked outside, and for some reason the world was looking so much different. Like a blur yet it wasn't? Damn, she wasn't making sense.

The skies were so clear. She just wanted to gaze mindlessly at the sky. So she got up and took a cigarette from her pack. She was nearly out. Lighting it and inhaling the smoke into her lungs. She went to her kitchen and grabbed a Jake Daniels. Opening the window, she placed her legs over the edge and sat right down, grabbing the side of the ledge to keep her balance. Dangling her legs slightly like a child.

She couldn't help but feel sort of lucky that it was late at night, because if anyone saw her, they might think she was going to commit suicide. She did live on the third flood after all and was really high up…well not the high, but at the moment it felt like it.

She took another drag, tilting her head back slightly and blowing the smoke into the air as her strangely grayish-light purple eyes looked into the sky. Her thoughts slowly drifted to Sasori again.

She..wasn't a whore or anything…but…she felt like it. Because she had given her body for drugs. She knew he always liked her, but in ways more then one, she had just used him. Keeping her around cause he was good company for one, even though she knew she was leading him on, another for drugs, and…for comfort?

She couldn't really say if it was for comfort or anything, but every so often, she'd get this feeling. At first it feels like an itching, then an almost painful and uncomfortable feeling. And the ending results would always become so irritating that she would be sweating and all hot and bothered. She felt in pain and needed something..anything. Sometimes it would be drugs to remove this bothersome feeling or sometimes it would be sex.

Like she said, she wasn't whore. It was just something she would need from time to time to get her by in life.

Taking a swig of her drink she let her eyes wonder on the stars.

She couldn't help but feel this terrible feeling of…depression.

She didn't even know if that was the word she was looking for. She just felt like shit. Nothing was making her happy. Everything seemed like nothing, and an utterly waste of time.

She wondered if anyone feels as insignificant as she does when she gazes at the stars. They were so pretty and high. It was amazing to think that it took their light a million years to get here.

Without noticing, the bottle of Jake Daniels slipped from her hand and fell to the bottom. Looking down in enough time to watch it fall, it was like life was going in slow motion, because she could see it slowly falling. Then crashing almost in a graceful manner, into tiny pieces.

It was in a very old way, beautiful.

She couldn't help but wonder what would it be like to fall like that? If she fell like that, in such an elegant and graceful motion.

Would her body shatter like glass and look as if was peaceful?

Would it be slow and she could watch the world slowly move all around her?

Or would it be bloody and look painful?

And would the world just quickly flash before her, not leaving her anytime to admire its beauty as she fell?

She suddenly felt like falling. Not to sound suicidal just, she wanted to fall. So she put out her cigarette and flicked it outside.

Closing her eyes, and holding her arms out like she was going to fly, she slowly leaned back. It felt almost nice for a moment. Slowly falling, almost like a dream.

And it was ruined when she hit her floor in a loud thud.

"Oww…"

She bet that her neighbors heard that one this time. And now her head hurt like a bitch.

She opened her eyes to look at the stars again.

She could feel sleep wanting to take over. The world was looking like double and everything was dizzy. She felt in bliss yet in pain. Why was she getting so sleepy? Why did she feel like…she was leaving?

Looking at the stars one last time she let a true tiny smile grace her light pink sleeps that were slightly paling. Reaching her pale hand up, she wanted to see if she could touch one of those stars. Then maybe she could learn their secretes and shine like they do. Shine so long that it took her light a million years to get somewhere.

Her eyes became heavy, and she couldn't will herself to keep them open. Her arm slowly dropping to her side. Her complexion paling even more, looking a very unnatural color and unhealthy. Her breathing slightly unsteady and sweating greatly.

Truly, who would have thought that Hyuga Hinata, at the age of 25, would be this fucked up?

"That still doesn't stop me from wanting to be a star." Hinata said out loud to no one in particular as darkness seemed to be taking over her world.

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A/N: I know, seems slightly boring? Well in all good time it will get better.

Some people may not like how I am using Hinata, but this is my story and I will do whatever I damn well please.

So if you don't like it, stop reading and go somewhere else.

And if you flame, I won't be offended.

I will just simply sit in my computer chair and laugh at your idiotic ways and pitiful life.

Thank you and review.


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